Pretty Little Disasters
by writergirl2003
Summary: Beth was searching for something she had lost long ago, and Kate wanted something she'd never had to begin with. Neither of them suspected that what they really needed was each other.
1. Only Seventeen, but Tired

This is the beginning of a new full-length story I'm trying to write! I'm not sure how it will turn out, but I'm excited about it and I hope I can actually go through with it. I'm aware this first chapter is extremely short, but they'll get longer, believe me. This story is a little AU, and by AU I mean the movie hasn't happened, and won't happen. :)

I don't own John Tucker Must Die, and I don't own Beth or Kate, but I wish I did.

As always, this story is for my baby. I wouldn't be doing this without your love and support. I love you, darling.

* * *

"Come on, honey, you can trust me."

He was so close. She could smell his breath, feel his rough hands. She squirmed, and tried to cry out, but no sound came from her throat. Her eyes squeezed shut, tears forming at the corners.

"No." It was the only word she could manage to get out, but if he heard her speak, he didn't acknowledge the words.

"Come on." He sounded so friendly. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was simply asking her if she wanted to go to a movie with him. But things were so terribly different.

"Please don't." She was young, barely old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, but she knew this was horribly wrong. She knew little girls weren't supposed to endure this kind of thing, but fighting only made things worse. It made him angry, and it was hard enough to survive this without his fist landing against her face.

His hands were upon her then, and she whimpered, her body jerking as she tried to move away from him. But she was just a little girl, and he was strong. He held on tight and wouldn't let go. It was twisted fate that she had always wished for this kind of love; the kind where someone would want to hold her tight and not let go. But this wasn't what she had wanted. She wanted hugs, not rough, dirty fingernails digging into the soft flesh on her arms, and certainly not his sickeningly hot breath against her skin.

"No, no." It was the only word she knew. The word that repeated in her mind over and over, and the one that always woke her in the middle of the night. Her fingers were always clutching the covers on her bed, her breath ragged and her skin drenched with sweat.

Beth sat up in bed, blinking to adjust to the darkness of the room. She blinked, recognizing the warm tears that slipped down her cheeks, and hurriedly wiped them away with her hands. She glanced at the clock before realizing that it was still the middle of the night, and her body was exhausted. She pressed her lips together, but didn't lie down. She couldn't, because then the memories would come flooding back. She would accidentally fall asleep, and that dream would resume.

The word dream was a funny notion, because it implied that it was nothing more than a figment of her imagination. It was almost possible, this late at night, to convince herself that it had never happened, but that wasn't the truth, and she knew it. The sad truth resonated in her brain. Her sister had walked in on it happening, but God she'd only been fourteen at the time, and she'd been scared to death. She didn't know what would happen to her if she managed to catch his attention. They'd made eye contact before he'd even known she was there, and then she was gone.

Beth wasn't quite sure if she'd ever forgiven her for that; for walking away and pretending everything was okay, and that she hadn't just seen a grown man on top of her nine-year-old sister. Beth sometimes wondered if she even remembered that day.

Beth certainly hadn't forgotten it. She would never forget it, no matter how hard she tried to. It was one of those days in which a person remembered every detail; every sight, every smell, every sound. It replayed in Technicolor in her mind, and everything was amplified in her memory. Every second went by in slow motion. Beth often wondered if that was because those had been the last few precious moments of her childhood.

And this was what happened at night. She had that dream; that _memory_, and then she was awake for the rest of the night. Even though her body was exhausted, her mind was reeling, and she was too afraid that dream would continue if she fell back to sleep.

The brunette sighed and pressed her lips together. She ran a hand through her dark, tangled hair, and then let it fall to her side.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Beth," she spoke the words quietly to herself, and then shook her head in disappointment. She kept making this promise to herself that she'd get better, and she never did. The memories never went away; the _pain_ never went away. If anything, it only intensified. Time and repressed memories distorted the details in her mind, and she somewhat subconsciously replaced what she could not remember with more painful details than were necessary.

Beth clenched her jaw in the darkness of the room, and at the familiar burn of tears in her eyes, she switched on her bedside lamp. Her hands searched in the dim light beneath the table, looking for the hemp-bound journal that she knew was there. Upon finding it, she pulled it into bed with her, and flipped through the grainy recycled pages.

This journal was her only sanctuary. Her words, her thoughts, her fears were safe inside these pages, and even holding it released a wave of comfort and security throughout her. Her fingers curled at the pages, and a smile pressed across her lips as her eyes scanned words and pictures, the dark, beautiful eyes of animals staring back at her.

It was beyond her realm of consciousness to recognize the cruel irony in her existence. At seventeen, she had devoted her entire mind, body, and spirit to saving the lives of animals in places she could only dream of visiting; she would stop at nothing to lend her voice to the silent.

And yet, she couldn't even begin to save herself.


	2. She Hates the Sound that Goodbyes Make

Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter. I truly appreciate it.

And a very special thank-you to my beautiful girl, who is the reason I write. This is for you.

I'm not feeling very well right now, and I have a ton of projects due for school this week, but I'll update as soon as I possibly can.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Honey, one of these days you're gonna have to trust me. It won't _always _be this way." The blonde woman's voice echoed in the empty rooms of the house, and Kate rolled her eyes to the back of her mother's head.

"Yeah, right." The blonde girl perched on the edge of one of the boxes that had already been packed and taped up. It was ready to be loaded onto yet another moving van, to be transported to yet another city. It struck her as somewhat ridiculous that they hadn't even finished _un_packing the boxes from their most recent move, and already they were being packed again. She often wondered if her mother was literally blind to the fact that her actions had any effect on Kate whatsoever. She certainly didn't seem to have any idea that their constant moving was even the slightest bit inconvenient in her daughter's life. By this point, Kate could only assume that her mother thought she _liked_ switching to a different school every semester. She had once said it gave Kate the chance to start all over, each time. Kate could do little more than roll her eyes to that statement. Her mother didn't seem to notice that _she_ was the one who so desperately craved a fresh start. Kate didn't mind getting out of a house if it meant that her mother would stop crying or gorging on chocolate icing, but she didn't like moving. She didn't like starting over each time. Kate had nothing to run from.

"Kate, come on," she heard her mother's voice call up the stairs, and when she didn't move, her footsteps followed her warning call a few moments later. The older woman came to stand at the end of the hallway, placing her hands on her hips. "You could at least help pack."

Kate looked up at her mother suddenly, her face expressing her displeasure. She wanted to yell and throw a fit, but knew that would help nothing. Her mother had made up her mind, and there was nothing she could do to stop it now.

"Fine." Kate pulled herself off the box she had been seated on, and trudged into her bedroom. She carefully placed an empty box on her bed and began to fill it with the books and magazines that currently sat on her bookshelf. When she heard her mother approach her doorway, she sighed loudly, and then turned to look at her.

"You know, if you insist on moving every time one of these idiots breaks your heart, you'd think that you would learn to wait at least a _week_ before finding a boyfriend, Mom." She looked at the older woman, exasperated, "I mean, God, we haven't even finished _un_packing from when we arrived here!"

She shook her head, and continued to pack her things. Lori stepped closer to her, finally allowing a hand to fall gently on her daughter's back.

"I know you're upset, Kate. I get that."

"Do you?" Kate wheeled around on her mother, glaring at her, "I don't think you _do_ get that, Mom, or we wouldn't be in this situation." Kate closed the lid on the box and pushed it off her bed, creating a resounding crash that echoed throughout the room. As she reached for another box, Lori caught her arm.

"Kate." Her voice was stern now, and Kate recognized it as the _mom_ voice. She hated that voice. "Look at me."

Kate stood for a moment before turning to her mother, raising her blue eyes to meet the older woman's. She bit on her lip as Lori studied her face. She didn't feel good about fighting with her mother, but it was hard to be calm and collected when she consistently relocated her entire life. Just as soon as Kate got used to one place, they were off to another.

"Listen." Lori's hand fell on her daughter's shoulder, and Kate blinked. "I know this is hard, okay? It's not easy for me either."

Kate grunted softly and shifted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I mean it," Lori confessed, her eyes dark and serious, "It's not like I get some sick sense of pleasure out of uprooting your life all the time."

"Then why do you do it?" Kate's gaze remained on her mother, almost challenging her.

Lori sighed and then allowed herself to sit on the edge of Kate's bed.

"Kate," she said her name softly, and Kate's eyes softened a little. "You're my daughter, and my number one responsibility is to take care of you." She shrugged, "I'm a single mom. I can only do so much. I'm just looking for someone who can take care of you, take care of both of us." Her shoulders slumped, and then she shook her head. "And each time, I think I find that, and then, each time, I'm wrong. Every time one of those guys leaves, a million chances go out the door with him."

Kate narrowed her eyes, and then shook her head.

"We don't _need_ them, Mom! I don't like them, and even if they stayed, I wouldn't want any of them to be a father to me." She watched her mother silently for a moment, and then sighed, "Anyway, if they left just like that, what makes you think they wouldn't do it once you were married or something?"

"I guess it's just called having faith," Lori smiled softly at her daughter, and gently took Kate's hand. Kate allowed her to hold it for a moment, before crossing her arms again.

"No, Mom, it's called being naïve." She bit her lip, and could instantly see the hurt in the older woman's eyes. "I'm sorry. I just _hate_ this. I hate constantly seeing you depressed like this, and knowing that it's because of some jackass that was just looking for a good time." She averted her gaze from her mother, and fixed it on the aquarium in the corner of the room. "You do realize that each time you try to find the perfect husband or whatever it is you're looking for, you get _that _much further away from actually finding it, don't you?"

At her mother's silence, Kate shook her head again. "I'm never letting a man make me feel like that."

After a moment, Lori nodded, and then stood.

"Good. Then if I haven't taught you anything else, at least I've taught you that." She smiled at her daughter, stroking her arm before moving towards the door, "Don't do what I've done. Don't chase love down."

Kate pulled her arms in tighter to her chest, and kept her eyes on her mother.

"Finish up with your packing," the older woman's voice instructed her as she disappeared down the hall, "We're leaving early in the morning."

Kate rolled her eyes, and then clenched her teeth, glancing at the clock. It was already the middle of the night, which gave her approximately two hours to get her entire room packed and loaded onto the moving truck.

"Where are we going this time?" She called back, her fingers curling into fists. She fought the urge to keep her nails from creating crescent moons by digging into her skin.

Her mother's footsteps stopped a little further down the hallway, and she was silent for a moment.

"I was thinking Washington," she answered, her voice as casual as anything.

"D.C.?" Kate shrieked, her mouth falling open in shock.

"No, Washington State," the voice answered, with a small laugh, "It's only about eight hours from here. If we leave by four, we'll be there before lunch."

Kate pressed her lips together, and shook her head. Eight hours might as well have been a lifetime. They'd never come back to Oregon. They'd only gotten here a year ago, and had managed to go through four cities, and now it appeared they were abandoning the state altogether. Kate wondered what would happen when they ran out of states on the west coast. Knowing her mom, they'd probably just start over on the east. There had to be at least ten states they hadn't lived in yet.

Kate didn't care if she was being overdramatic about the whole thing. She was sick of everything; sick of moving, sick of seeing her mother chase after men, sick of catching said men sneaking out of the house before the sun rose. Kate moved back to her bed, shoved some clothes into a suitcase at the edge of the mattress, and pushed it off her bed. She pulled her feet onto the mattress, lay back against the comforter she hadn't yet packed, and closed her eyes.

She tried to imagine what it would have been like to have a normal life. A life with two parents, a house she could have grown up in, and maybe some siblings. If anyone would have ever asked her what she wanted, that's all she would have asked for: some place to belong. She didn't care if it was in Oregon, Oklahoma, or halfway across the world. A home was a home.

Maybe she could find a home in Washington, she reasoned with herself. Join the track team at school, make some friends; maybe even meet someone she would fall in love with.

Kate laughed to herself at the ridiculousness of it all, and tried to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach that told her she wanted to cry.

After a moment, she pushed herself off her bed, and threw the few personal belongings she'd had lying around her room into another box near the door. She wondered if her mother would ever realize that moving wasn't just about throwing material items into a box and carrying them to another location. It was about breaking bonds, friendships, and promises. Moving was, essentially, about ending part of your life.

Kate finished packing her things, and sat the boxes on top of each other. She grabbed the book she'd been reading for the past week, and opened it to the dog-eared page. The overhead light filled all of the empty spaces in what had been her bedroom, and she shifted on the bare mattress that the movers would load into their trucks in just a matter of moments.

She tried to concentrate on her book as she heard a truck pull up outside, and then heard her mother's voice instructing the men. She tried not to think about the fact that in just minutes they'd be climbing the stairs, throwing all of her worldly possessions into the back of yet another truck, and ending yet another part of her life. Kate couldn't concentrate on her book, though. All she could think about was the resentment that surged through her veins as her mother called up to her.

She knew that her mother saw their nomadic state as a continuous opportunity to start over, but Kate didn't know how she could start her life over when she hadn't even had a chance to live it yet.


	3. Perfect Only In Her Imperfection

Well, I've been housebound for the past few days, and I just randomly decided to write this today, so I hope it makes sense.

This is for you, baby. I love you and miss you so much.

Enjoy, all. :)

* * *

Beth curled her fingers around her notebook, and narrowed her eyes as the remaining students filed into the classroom. She shifted in her seat, and her actions caused her skirt to rise on her thighs. Beth opened her notebook to the first clean page, and took to aimlessly doodling with her pencil, leaving black smudges of lead on the white pages.

She didn't look up again until she felt the chair move beside her, and then allowed her green eyes to look up towards the blonde that slid into the seat next to her. She scooted her things over, and pressed an empty smile to her lips.

"Hey, Madison."

The other girl regarded her immediately, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Hey, Beth." She studied her for a moment, and then began to unload her backpack. "You know, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but… you kind of look like shit."

The brunette girl kept her eyes focused on her notebook, the corners of her lips turning down into a slight frown.

"It was just a long weekend," she offered her, finally meeting Madison's eyes. Night after night of not being able to sleep had caught up with her long ago, and she knew that her make-up would eventually be ineffective at covering up the darkness beneath her eyes. She had tried meditating and mixing an herbal tea before bed, but most nights, that dream haunted her. It was easier to stay up all night, and find ways to get her energy in the morning before school. Sleep was the enemy.

"I hear you. So, listen, I was wondering if you wanted to drive up to Seattle this weekend?" Madison's voice cut through the thoughts in Beth's head, and she glanced at her, "There's apparently a big protest going on up at the University of Washington. Some professor was testing on animals." Hatred gleamed in the blonde's eyes. She and Beth had met last year, during the short-lived but enthusiastic animal rights club. A crowd of school wide vegetarians that Beth had managed to round up had gotten a green light to form the club, as long as they could find a teacher to sponsor the group. When the eleventh-grade ecology teacher had offered to do so, Beth had been exhilarated. They received a list of compliances and rules that they would be expected to follow, but Beth hadn't really bothered to read them. She had figured they would have a certain number of freedoms, considering they were the only club on campus that didn't consist of some sport or scholastic cause, but strived to actually help poor, defenseless creatures. However, when Beth staged their first rally, the police showed up and ended up hauling half the club's population off to jail. It appeared that the school didn't take too kindly to having law enforcement be required to get involved in extracurricular activities, and the club had been canceled. The remaining funds ended up being distributed between several other groups, namely the basketball, cheerleading, and track teams. For this reason, Beth _detested_ organized sports.

Beth swallowed, closing her eyes for a moment as the other girl spoke. She could feel her heart beginning to pound, and her fingers curled tightly around her pencil. She clenched her teeth, and tried to focus on her words. It broke her heart; to think that anyone could ever harm an animal was senseless to her. After a moment, she allowed her eyes to open slowly, and they immediately fell on the form on an unfamiliar face, standing somewhat hesitantly in the door frame.

Beth had never seen her before, which meant that she must have been new. It was strange, though, considering that it was the middle of the year, and they'd been in school for over four months. The girl with no name self-consciously clutched her books against her chest, and shifted on her feet. Beth watched her silently, and as someone attempted to squeeze in the door beside her, the girl seemed to realize she was blocking the walkway. She quickly moved, and began to take small steps towards the remaining empty seats in the classroom.

"So, anyway, it's on Saturday. It starts at noon. I was thinking we could drive up and stop at that new health food store on the way. You know, the one that they had on the news the other day?" Madison's voice cut through Beth's reverie, and she turned, blinking before realizing she had been in the middle of a conversation.

"Oh, yeah…uh, sure. That sounds great." She offered her a small smile, and then immediately let her eyes move back to the blonde stranger. She stood in the front of the room for another moment, and when everyone had slid into their seats, she slowly approached the remaining empty tables. Beth watched with a half-smirk as she painstakingly chose a seat and slid into it. The psychology room was made up of over a dozen small tables, with only two seats to each one. The blonde stranger had chosen a seat, two rows up from Beth and Madison's table, and had somewhat unfortunately decided to sit beside the resident bitch of the class, Karen Sims. Karen was such a difficult person that she'd caused the psychology teacher to cry on more than one occasion, and since her parents funded the music center in the school, all of the school officials were too afraid to reprimand her.

As soon as the unwitting blonde girl had made her home beside Karen, she turned to her and, not so kindly, announced, "You can't sit there."

The new blonde girl shrunk a little into her seat, and cautiously clutched her books.

"Is it taken?" She wondered, speaking for the first time. Her voice was pure and cool, and Beth found herself instantly drawn to it, and to her.

"No," Karen answered, her voice taking on its usually cruel tone, "I just don't want you to sit here."

The blonde girl seemed surprised, and she simply looked at her for a moment before wordlessly getting up and taking her books with her. She walked a little further into the class, and found a spot just diagonal of Beth's table. Hesitating for a moment, she seemed to take it as a good sign when the other girl at the table simply turned her head away. The blonde slipped into her seat, and folded her hands on the table in front of her. Beth smirked.

"So, did you finish that essay for today?" Madison's voice was in her ear again, causing Beth to tear her eyes away from the stranger. She blanked, and the furrow of her eyebrows obviously expressed her confusion.

"What was it about, again?" She tried to sound nonchalant as she asked the question, but knew that it would have a tragic affect on her grade. She really couldn't afford another D on her report card, but knew she probably didn't have much of a choice.

"We were supposed to write about conditioning, remember? Like, Pavlov and the dog? Pick a habit, and try to condition ourselves?"

Beth's eyebrows arched, and she tried to remember when they'd talked about this topic. Had she even been here? She hadn't been absent lately; at least not as far as she could remember. Still, it didn't ring a bell.

"Guess it slipped my mind," she played it off, her husky voice laced with laughter. But her attention had already been diverted from the missed assignment, and she was focusing on the new blonde girl again. Her hair was curly, and fell over her shoulders. It was so disheveled that Beth wondered if she'd even brushed it before she'd come to school this morning. She was dressed conservatively- a little _too_ conservatively for Beth's tastes, and she seemed quiet. She sat staring straight ahead for a long moment, and then, as Beth watched her, she turned to the girl next to her.

"Do you know when the tryouts are for the track team?" Kate asked in that same smooth, cool voice. Beth let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, and the wannabe Goth girl next to her simply turned away in response. If Beth didn't have such a hatred for organized sports, she would have felt bad for the new girl. Maybe she still did, but just a little bit.

"Okay, class." The teacher, Ms. Foster, entered the room, pulling the door shut behind her and placing her school bag on the desk in front of her. "Good morning."

There was a mumble of greetings throughout the class, and Beth pressed her lips together, keeping her eyes lowered to her paper.

"We have a new student among us," Ms. Foster announced, and Beth raised her eyes suddenly, immediately turning to look at the blonde girl. "Her name is Katherine Spencer. She comes from-"

"Actually," the blonde girl spoke up, cutting Ms. Foster off. Beth's lips turned into a smirk, and she stared at her, "It's Kate. Kate Spencer."

Beth's lips pressed into a full smile, but she continued to suppress it as a smirk. Katherine? She did _not_ look like a Katherine, but she _did_ look like a Kate.

"Oh," Ms. Foster checked her attendance sheet, and then threw a line through her name, her pencil moving to write 'Kate' above the name. "Okay, Kate. Well, tell us. Where is it you come from?"

Kate sat quietly for a moment, and Beth rolled her eyes. What a lame question. Where is it you come from? What was she, an alien?

"Um," Kate hesitated, and then shrugged a little, "I come from…everywhere."

Everywhere? Beth's interests piqued, and she arched an eyebrow.

"Everywhere?" Ms. Foster seemed to echo Beth's sentiments, and then she grinned good-naturedly. "Well, then. Psychology class is certainly the right place for you."

Beth watched as Kate's face drew up in confusion, and she allowed herself to lean back against her seat. Ms. Foster cleared her throat, and asked the class to pass up their essays, and the moment was gone. Kate's fifteen minutes of fame was over, and she was lost in the crowd.

Beth spent the entire period drifting between listening to the teacher, and watching Kate. She didn't move much, Beth noticed. She seemed to perch in one position and stay that way. She was dressed in a sweater that was too big for her; a little long on her arms and waist, and Beth wondered why. She seemed to have an extremely nice figure; Beth was a good judge of figure, and Kate's curves looked sharp and delicious.

Beth swallowed, and then forced herself to avert her eyes. She tried to make herself take notes, but by the time class was over, she realized the only marks she'd made on her paper were unintelligible and dark, senseless strokes.

Class drew to an end, and Madison tried to involve her in conversation as they gathered their things, but Beth had other plans. She wanted to speak to Kate. Wanted to get to know the girl that came from everywhere, even if she _did_ participate in organized athletics.

Pushing her messenger bag onto her shoulder, she hurried over to Kate's table, leaving Madison alone in the middle of a conversation. Annoyed, the girl gathered her things and left in a hurry. Beth didn't notice, and positioned herself just a few feet away from Kate.

"Hey." She offered her a smile, and Kate continued to collect her things before finally turning to glance at Beth.

"Hi," she returned, not pausing in her task. She gathered her notebooks in her arms and began towards the entrance.

"So you're new." It wasn't a question that Beth posed; it was merely a statement. Kate nodded, and then straightened her posture, clutching her books.

"Yeah." She certainly didn't seem to be one for conversation. For the first time, Kate allowed her eyes to meet Beth's. Beth sucked her breath in silently as she noticed the stunning shade of blue, and then grinned softly.

"So where you'd come from?" Beth wondered, as the classroom emptied. Kate glanced around, noticing that they were the only two left in the room. She cleared her throat quietly, and then pressed her lips together. She glanced toward the door, and then back at Beth.

"Ohio, originally," she sighed softly, "Most recently from Oregon."

"Wow," Beth breathed, "Ohio to Oregon? That's like… three states away."

Kate's eyes narrowed as she looked at the other girl, the same look of confusion clouding her features. Beth looked back at her, her eyebrows furrowing as she tried to recall where Ohio was. It had to be in the west… somewhere. Geography had never been her strong point.

"Um, okay." Kate laughed a little, though more out of discomfort than any other emotion. It annoyed Beth that Kate was so reserved, and seemed so hesitant to become involved in conversation. "Um, I have to get to my next class." She offered Beth a tiny smile, and began toward the door. Beth followed behind her, her face flushed with resentment for the blonde girl.

"Oh!" Kate spoke suddenly, wheeling around to face Beth. Beth had been following closely behind, and when Kate turned, it left them nearly a foot apart. Kate's eyes connected with Beth's, and she kept the brunette's gaze for a moment. Beth swallowed, her heart pounding slightly faster as they gazed at one another. "Can I ask you a question?"

Beth pursed her lips, and wanted to say no. She wanted to turn her back and walk away, and make Kate feel sorry that she hadn't pursued the conversation Beth had pressed. She was feeling rather indignant now, even though that wasn't the word Beth would use to describe it, considering she had no idea what indignant meant. But she was pissed! She would _refuse_ to help Kate, who would, in turn, apologize for acting like such a prude. Beth would simply refuse her. But, God, those blue eyes were beautiful.

"Sure," Beth replied, her voice low with expectation, "What is it?"

"Um," Kate's voice was shaky, and Beth wondered if the blonde was as secure in herself as she truly seemed. If anyone knew anything about facades, it was certainly Beth. "I was wondering if…" her hands fumbled with a piece of paper, and she unfolded it. Beth watched her blue eyes scan the words, and then she looked up, "Can you tell me how to get to room 212A?"

Beth sighed, and then chuckled softly. Kate's blue eyes remained on her face, and Beth nodded.

"Yeah. Go to the end of the hallway, and down the stairs. That's the second floor. Then turn left, and it'll be in that hallway."

Kate nodded, then gave that same small smile.

"Thanks," she tucked the paper back into her pocket, and headed off. "Well, see ya."

Beth waggled her fingers, and watched Kate disappear down the hall. She waited until Kate was gone to head to her next class, which was Senior English. She managed to get through the rest of the morning without giving _much_ thought to the blonde girl, though it was difficult, considering that she'd gotten under her skin, with all that fancy talk of Ohio and the track team.

It wasn't until she was at lunch with the rest of her friends that she spotted Kate again. The blonde girl gripped the edges of her tray, walking casually through the cafeteria. Beth tried to watch her guardedly, but Kate caught her eyes, and began toward the table. Beth sat up straighter, wanting to make sure that Kate knew there was no room for her here. Like vicious cats, the rest of the students at the table glanced up at her with narrowed eyes.

"I got lost because of you," Kate said simply, not moving to take a seat at the table.

Beth blinked up at her, her fingers peeling apart her pita bread somewhat unconsciously.

"Excuse me?" She wondered, wishing her heart would stop the way it started acting when Kate came around.

"I got lost." Kate shook her head, "When I asked you how to get to my class, you said go down the stairs and take a left. Well I did, and it took me to an entirely different part of the building. I think you meant to say take a right."

Beth stared back at her for a moment, and then studied her hands. Left, right. Oh, _shit_.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Beth lied.

Kate watched her for a moment, then laughed softly.

"No, you didn't. You said left."

Beth felt her face flush, and shrugged.

"Well, you still got there, didn't you?" She tried to salvage her pride, and then immediately shifted in her seat, turning her back on Kate. She tried to focus on the conversation that was already in progress between two of her friends. They were discussing whether or not they should spread a petition around school protesting the unnecessary use of vegetables in the vegetable cups that were offered to students but hardly ever taken. Beth added her two cents, and then tried to remain involved in the debate. She was able to for another moment, but eventually she turned back in her seat. Without meaning to, her eyes scanned the cafeteria, searching for her.

She found her a moment later, sitting at one side of an empty table, while the body language of a group on the other side huddled in a mass told her they wanted nothing to do with her. She was hunched over her tray, eating quietly, and for a moment, Beth felt guilty. For just a moment, she considered getting up, going over there, and asking Kate to join her group at the table. But she wouldn't do that. She couldn't. Obviously, she and Kate didn't belong in the same crowd. Beth knew what happened when people tried to mix cliques, and she was far enough into her comfort zone at school not to mess that up. School was her retreat from home, and she couldn't put her own well-being in jeopardy. She wouldn't do it, not for a strange girl from Ohio who liked to run track. She didn't owe anything to Kate Spencer.

At least not as long as she could avoid those gorgeous blue eyes.


	4. All the Same If Everybody Leaves Her

**So, I'm finally updating. I know it's been a while, but it's been hard for me to find my muse. I think I've found it again, though, and I'm keeping it in a jar so it can't escape. But... we'll see. Anyway, enjoy! I'll try to update again ASAP. **

**This is for my lovely lady Kelsey. I love you, sweetie. Thank you for continuing to inspire me... no matter how long it takes for me to actually do something! **

* * *

"So, do you think you're ready to do this by yourself?"

Kate nodded, smiling softly. Her hands slid into her apron, and she retrieved her order pad.

"I think so," she replied meekly, her fingers curling around the leather pad. Her fingers tapped on the top of the pad, and she pressed her lips together.

"Just remember what I told you," Melanie smiled, "The first thing you say-"

"Hi, my name's Kate, I'll be your waitress." The blonde girl interrupted, and the other girl smiled.

"Right! And then you-"

"Ask if they'd like a Coke, tea, or coffee," Kate grinned, "I think I'm okay. I'm just nervous."

Melanie grinned.

"I taught you well. I have faith in you." She smirked, "I think you'll be just fine."

"Thanks." Kate smiled at the other girl, and then let her eyes move out over the restaurant. Melanie was only a year older than her, and she'd been designated to train her since she'd gotten a job here last week. Kate had been lucky to find a job so quickly, considering that she would probably have to give her mother a portion of the check for rent this month. Her mother had encouraged her to get a job, and Kate hadn't necessarily objected, though she _was_ worried that another sudden move would cause her to have to quit suddenly.

"Sure," Melanie grinned, her eyes scanning over the restaurant. She let out a little squeal as the hostess led a man to a table a few rows over from where they stood. "Ooh. Excuse me, Kate. Some hottie just sat down in my area. Guess I have to go offer him coffee, tea, or me." She giggled, and began toward the table. Suddenly she turned, and called for Kate, who had already turned away from them. "Oh, Kate! You take the tables in section three tonight, okay? I know there are a lot of tables, but it's a weeknight, so it should be pretty slow!"

"Okay," Kate called back, her heart beating a little faster as she realized that she was alone now. The second that the hostess led someone to her section, she'd have to take full responsibility for their satisfaction. The thought made her nervous, but she swallowed the lump in her throat, and perched behind the counter, watching carefully as others entered the restaurant. She sighed softly, and then made her way into the back of the restaurant, wondering if she was supposed to be doing something else until someone was in her section. No sooner had she wandered away from her post did one of the waitresses enter the back, notifying her that someone had just been seated in her section.

She swallowed hard and nodded, pushed through the swinging door, and glanced across the restaurant. Forcing a smile to her lips, she made her way across the restaurant to a table for two, though only one person had been seated. It was a brunette girl, and her head was lowered. Something about that dark, curling hair looked _so_ familiar, though she didn't even recognize her until she moved closer and the brunette girl looked up at her. Recognition flashed in her eyes, and she smirked at Kate, lying her menu down on the table as the blonde approached her.

Kate felt a tightening in the pit of her stomach, and pressed her lips together, her fingers curling around the pad of paper she held. She let out a soft sigh, and approached the table, forcing a smile to her lips.

"Hi," she greeted her softly, the rehearsed words rushing out of her mind as soon as she attempted to speak. "Um, do you want a-" she hesitated, furrowing her eyebrows, "a Coke? Coffee?"

Beth smirked at her, seeming pleasantly amused by the other girl's awkwardness.

"I don't drink coffee," she told her simply, "I'll just have water."

"Okay," Kate nodded, marking it down on her pad. She glanced back up, pointing the end of her pen towards the empty seat at the table. "And…"

"I don't know what she wants," Beth informed her dryly, her fingers curling against the tablecloth.

"O-okay," Kate nodded, turning to retreat back to the kitchen. She began to walk away when the other girl called to her.

"Hey, Kate?" Beth's voice rang out, and the blonde turned, focusing on the brunette. Beth's fingers curled around the menu. "Do you serve anything at this restaurant that _hasn't _been killed?"

"Um," she pressed her lips together, and then swallowed. She had spent some of her free time attempting to memorize the menu, but she suddenly felt awkward and unsure of herself. "I don't-Yeah, I think so."

"Doesn't this place have some kind of vegetarian menu?" She asked suddenly, "You know, tofu… garden burgers?"

Kate watched her for a moment, and then laughed softly.

"Garden burgers?"

"Yeah…" Beth's eyebrow arched, "You know… anything that hasn't come in fresh from the slaughterhouse?"

"I'm not sure," she told her softly, "I… can go ask."

Beth pressed her lips together, and then nodded.

"You do that."

Heat rushed to Kate's face as she made her way to the kitchen. She asked three different people if the restaurant offered a vegetarian menu, and when she got a resounding 'no' from each of them, she headed back to Beth's table. By now, another girl had joined her, and the two sat speaking quietly to each other. Kate clenched her jaw before approaching them, and forcing a smile.

"I'm sorry, apparently we don't have a vegetarian menu," she told her reluctantly, before focusing her attention on the other girl, "Can I get you something to-"

"Of course we have the most inept waitress in this restaurant," the other girl commented quietly, and Beth giggled in response. Kate's narrowed eyes moved to her. She swallowed, and tried to keep her focus. Beth had successfully made a bad impression on her during the first day of school, and she had tried her best to steer clear of her since then. She had seen this girl around school with Beth, and could only assume she was a member of the earth-loving cult that Beth seemed to run. Her group of friends seemed to promote their vegetarian club like it was going out of style. Oh, _wait_- that's right; it had never been in style in the first place.

"What would you like to drink?" She tried again, and nodded tightly when the other girl ordered tea. After much debating on the girls' parts, they managed to find something that both of them could eat, and Kate returned to the kitchen with the requests. Soon after, several others were seated in her section, and she managed to avoid Beth and the other girl for as long as she could. Within the next hour, a wealthy-looking couple had left her a ten-dollar tip, she'd managed to serve at least four other tables, and Beth and her friend were _still_ there.

Sighing in defeat, she made her way back to the table, forcing a smile to her lips.

"How was everything?" She wondered hopefully, "Can I get you anything else?" _Like your check?_

The other girl raised her eyebrow, and Beth narrowed her gaze at Kate.

"So, Kate," she spoke softly, her lips formed into a smirk, "I was telling Allison that you're from Wisconsin. She said that they, like, worship cheese and milk in that state. Do you know what cows have to go through in order for people like you to _get_ that milk and cheese?"

Kate's eyes narrowed in confusion, and she shook her head slightly.

"Um, no. Beth, I'm from Oregon, not Wisconsin. I've never lived in Wisconsin. I think you're confusing Wisconsin and Washington."

Beth's face fell slightly, and she looked to her friend, who pursed her lips and glared in Kate's direction.

"We live in Washington, right?" Beth's confirmation to her friend was nearly silent, but Kate heard it, and couldn't hide the smirk that pressed across her lips. Her friend nodded, and Beth turned back to Kate.

"We'll just take our check," she whispered somewhat bitterly, and Kate pulled the slip of paper from her apron, placing it before the two girls.

"I'll pick it up for you when you're ready," she told them before retreating to the kitchen. By the time she emerged with another customer's order, the table was empty, and she sighed in relief. Crossing the room to collect the check, she counted the money and then glanced at the bill. Her stomach tightened in anger as she realized that they hadn't even bothered to leave her a tip. She clenched her teeth as she made her way back to the register, and then asked Melanie to watch her table as she slipped into the bathroom.

She used the restroom quickly, and then studied her reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands. Her hair was a mess, but what was new? It curled and kinked in all the wrong places, and she wondered suddenly if she'd ever care enough to do something different with it. She had tried gel once, in her freshman year of high school, and had vowed never to take that road again.

A toilet flushed suddenly, and it pushed Kate out of her thoughts. Her eyes immediately fell to a pair of feet in the stall behind her, and she began to readjust her apron before pausing. She knew those feet. More specifically, she knew those shoes. There was only one person she knew that wore cork sandals with straps made of hemp. She made an almost unconscious decision to wait for Beth to emerge from the stall. A moment later, the brunette opened the door, and smiled somewhat unexpectedly at the blonde.

"So we meet again," she mused, raising her eyebrows playfully at Kate as she made her way to the sink to wash her hands.

"Yeah," Kate spoke softly, her insides turning with anger. She shifted on her feet, and then brushed her hair behind her ear. "Listen, Beth-"

Beth lowered her eyes to the sink, washing her hands without bothering to look up at the other girl. Kate watched her reflection.

"What's up, Katie?" Her voice sounded over the rush of water, and Kate shook her head slightly.

"No, my name's Kate," she corrected her quietly, her face flushing as she began to speak. "And… I just… I think it's really…well, rude of you not to leave a tip for your waitress. I mean, if you're going to go out to eat and then try to verbally harass me, the least you could do is leave a measly dollar."

Beth's eyebrows raised as she watched the other girl. A moment later, an amused smirk pressed across her lips, and her eyes reflected an emotion that Kate couldn't quite read.

"Chill, Katie," she laughed softly, "Sorry… uh, I mean Kate." She rested her purse on the sink, and pulled her wallet out, searching through it for a moment before pulling out a green bill. She offered it to Kate, who stared at her cautiously for a moment.

"Here, take it," she shook the five dollars in Kate's direction, "Allison picked up the bill, so I didn't bother to check. Is that enough?"

After a moment, Kate took the money, slipping it into her apron.

"Thanks," she murmured quietly after a moment. Beth pulled her make-up bag from her purse and began to apply her mascara as she studied her reflection.

"Sure." Beth replied after a moment, "I don't _hate_ you, Kate. I mean, I think you're a brat, and you could probably stand to listen to an Enya CD, but that's about it."

"A brat?" Kate demanded, her eyebrows furrowing, "What? Why?"

Beth glanced at her in the mirror, raising her eyebrows.

"You're way too tightly wound," she told her casually, dabbing at her mascara in the mirror, "You're kind of like a ticking bomb. It's like… you're way too rectal, Kate."

Kate's cheeks flushed, and her fingers curled instinctively into fists.

"Rectal? I think you mean _anal_, genius. Which I'm definitely _not_. I'm not anal." She crossed her arms tightly around her chest.

"If you say so," Beth laughed, shaking her head. Kate bit her tongue, pressing her lips together.

Kate stood for a moment, considering the words in her mind.

"Anyway, even if I was, it's not like I don't have a reason. You would be too if you had no control over any aspect of your life." She narrowed her gaze. Beth didn't know her at all. She had no right to assume that Kate was anal. She wasn't anal; she was simply reluctant to relinquish control over the few small things that she was able to hold onto.

Beth turned to her, her eyes dark suddenly.

"Everyone has problems, Kate. It doesn't mean you have to be a bitch about it." The darkness in her eyes only lasted for a moment, and then her face lightened again. "You have to find a different way to deal with it. Incense can be really calming. I could bring you some to school on Monday."

Kate stared at her for a moment, then shook her head.

"I have to get back to work." The words came out as more of a defeated sigh, and she turned to face the door, as Beth gathered her things.

"Hey, have you ever tried meditating?"

Kate's fingers wrapped around the door handle, and she turned back to catch Beth's eye.

"My mom does yogalates," she offered lamely, and then let her eyes rest on the back of the bathroom door. She bit on her lip, pretending to study the bathroom cleaning chart as Beth let out a laugh.

"Not exactly the same, but I bet your mom's pretty hot," she murmured beneath her breath, and then moved closer to Kate. "Anyway, some friends and I are getting together for meditation tomorrow night. It's at the community center downtown, have you been there yet?"

Kate blinked, and then shifted a little, turning to look back at Beth.

"No." She scratched her fingernails lightly against her own arm.

"Okay. Well… if you ask around, you'll figure out how to get there. I'm not good with directions. I always get east and west mixed up." Beth narrowed her eyes carefully, shifting on her feet. "It's at 7:30. You don't have to bring anything, but… you should wear comfortable old clothes. What you wear to school should be fine."

Kate couldn't keep the puzzled expression from her face, "Wait, why are you asking me to go?"

"You seem like you need it, and it's not like you've got a ton of things to do on a Saturday night anyway, right?" She shrugged, "Anyway, there aren't usually that many people there. If we can't find more people to come to the classes, they'll probably cancel them. Listen you can come if you want to. I'm not forcing you."

There was a silence between them, and then Beth sighed.

"Okay. Well, I've got to get back to work," Kate repeated the words, but made no effort to move. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like she was stuck in place. She could feel Beth's eyes on the back of her head, and tried not to look back at her.

"So do you think you'll come tomorrow?" She asked, and Kate reluctantly shifted to look at her.

"Um," Kate pressed her lips together, and hesitated for a moment. "No, I probably won't."

Beth watched her for a short moment, and then smirked.

"You know, one of these days I'm gonna stop trying to be so nice to you, Kate Spencer."

Kate bit on her lip for a moment, and then ran her tongue over her lips.

"I don't want you to be my friend, Beth," she replied, her voice quiet. . It was better this way. Easier to end things before they even began. She would prefer not to form emotional attachments before her mom decided that it was time for them to start over again.

"Whoever said I wanted to be your friend?" The brunette questioned, watching her for a moment. She moved past Kate, essentially pushing her out of the way as she made her way through the door.

Kate watched her go, and barely even noticed the slight tightening feeling in her stomach. She'd been through this a million times before; Kate was used to watching people walk away from her. This strange girl who confused Washington with Wisconsin and didn't care how odd her lifestyle made her seem was no different. It was good practice for Kate, pushing her away before she could get close, and it almost didn't hurt anymore.

Almost.


	5. She Just Needs Someone to Take Her Home

**I have nothing of any value to say here, EXCEPT that this chapter wouldn't be possible without the love and support of my beautiful lady! We'll be spending some much needed time together over the next few weeks, so updates will be scarce until possibly the beginning of August, but I may have a rush of inspiration before I leave to visit, however doubtful that may be.**

**Anywho, thank you all for the reviews, and enjoy chapter 5!**

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There was nothing in the world Beth loved more than nature. Nothing brought her more peace, relaxation, or happiness than being outdoors, caring for animals, or attempting to erase their carbon footprints from the earth. From an early age, she'd been involved in an environmentalist group that did exactly the things Beth loved to do, and at least once a month they met in local parks to plant trees, pick up trash, and other earth-related and therefore exhilarating activities for Beth. While the months of January and February weren't exactly littered with environmental holidays, their organization didn't necessarily feel the need to replenish the earth only on special occasions, and the group had gathered at one of Beth's favorite parks to plant tree saplings.

Beth loved feeling the rich, silky soil slip through her fingers as she carefully dug holes and gingerly placed the saplings in them. Because it was February in the state of Washington, the ground was a little frozen, but Beth had experience in working with the soil until it softened. She refused to wear gloves when she worked outside; she loved getting dirt beneath her fingernails. After she lovingly brushed the dirt back into the hole and rearranged it over the burgeoning sapling, she smiled to herself. A rush of love and warmth rushed over her as she studied the tiny blossom. Seeing this, and knowing that she'd had a hand in replenishing the earth, made her heart ache with happiness and contentment.

But there wasn't nearly enough time to stop and admire all the work that she and the rest of her crew were doing. They had set a goal of planting one hundred saplings before sunset, and it was already after five. Moving quickly, she sprinkled water over the newly planted seeds and moved down the park path a few feet before spreading her gardening tools and beginning to sow the land. She had been cold at first, but it was an unseasonably warm day for winter (just a little over fifty degrees) and her nose and cheeks had adjusted to the cool temperature. She shrugged off the light jacket that she'd originally worn, and discarded it on the grass beside her as she continued to work.

She worked quietly and in peace, only looking up if someone spoke her name, and never letting her attention move from the precious foliage in front of her. A moment later, however, she heard a soft jingling noise and glanced up, a smile pressing across her lips as she saw a small dog moving quickly toward her. Its tongue hung happily from its mouth, and its ears flopped as it ran through the grass. She let out a small laugh, and, almost as if she had called its name, the dog began to run in her direction. She watched it for a moment, and as she watched it quickly approaching, carefully covered her seeds with a cloth, and stayed kneeled on the ground, watching the small animal.

Beth loved all animals, and had grown up wishing she could take them all in. She had spent the first few summers of high school volunteering at a no-kill animal shelter, and had wanted to bring all of the animals home. At one point in time, she'd been housing enough dogs in their apartment to get them slapped with an eviction warning. Shortly thereafter, she'd had to quit volunteering there, and had spent the majority of her time from then on working on saving the environment.

But this dog that had found her certainly wasn't homeless. As soon as it reached Beth, it slid under her hands, rolling over on its back and exposing its pink belly to Beth. Beth giggled softly, and ran her fingers over the dog's silky fur.

"Hi, baby," she cooed to the animal, scratching the dog's belly and running her hands over the dog's silky ears. "You're a pretty little girl, aren't you?" She grinned, running her fingers over the dog's neck, and then her pink collar. "Oh, you have a owner, don't you?" She asked happily, hoping that the little tag would have some clue as to who this dog belonged to, or where she lived. Turning the tag over in her hand, it simply read: _Bella. (20_6) 555-_1221_. Smiling again, Beth scratched the dog's belly.

"Bella," she spoke the name sweetly, laughing, "What a precious name." She laughed, and then glanced up and looked around the park for any possible owners of this dog. There were people around, but no one seemed to be looking for a dog.

"Where's your mommy at?" She asked the dog, who tilted her head and looked at her with one ear that stood straight up. Beth laughed again, and tilted her head at the dog, still speaking in a high-pitched voice, "I've never seen you here before, Bella. I come to this park all the time, but I've never seen you here. No I haven't," she scratched the dog's head, who twisted over onto her feet and began to lick Beth's face playfully.

Beth squealed happily and fell backwards, landing on her butt and laughing as Bella playfully tackled her.

"You're a friendly little girl, huh?" She asked, laughing as she struggled to move away from the dog's incessant kisses. Pulling herself to her feet, she bent to rub the dog's head again, and then stood, placing her hands on her hips and glancing around the park. "Where is your-"

"Bella?" The voice was unsure as it came from over a hill, and Beth looked up, just in time to see a blonde girl emerging from over the hill. Her stomach tightened immediately as she realized it wasn't just a blonde girl. It was _Kate. _Beth furrowed her eyebrows, and looked down at Bella, who had taken a seat by Beth's feet, and wagged her tail contentedly as she looked up at Beth.

"Kate?" She asked, more to herself and the dog than to anyone else, and then tilted her head at Bella. "You belong to Kate?"

She sighed and then looked up again. Her eyes connected with Kate's almost immediately, and there was a noticeable tension in the other girl's posture as she recognized Beth. She paused for a moment, and then continued to make her way over to Beth. Beth placed her hands on her hips and waited for Kate to approach them. The blonde girl wore jeans and a sweater, a jacket, and a scarf wrapped around her neck. Beth couldn't help but smirk as she noticed that Kate was obviously dressed for much colder weather than today called for. Either that, or Kate was totally cold-blooded. Though, after the few conversations they'd had, Beth wasn't sure that would surprise her at all.

The blonde sighed, obviously frustrated, when she got within earshot of Beth.

"Lose something?" She wondered. Kate's eyes darkened as she narrowed them at Beth.

"She broke free because this leash is obviously a piece of crap," she sighed, glancing at Bella, who wagged her tail upon seeing Kate, but hadn't moved from beside Beth. "Come on, Bella. Let's go."

Beth reached down to scratch Bella's chin as Kate moved to hook her leash to her collar. Their hands touched for a moment and Kate jerked away instantly, dropping the leash. Beth caught her eyes, and smirked softly at her. She squatted and attached the leash to Bella's collar, scratching her on the head again before standing up.

"Thanks," Kate muttered softly.

"I didn't know you had a dog, Kate Spencer," she watched as Kate wrapped the leash around her hand, and then glanced up at her.

"She's new," she replied, her voice low. "I just got her. Well, my mom got her for me." She shifted on her feet, seemingly unsure of how much information she wanted to offer to Beth. Beth watched her, and Kate finally glanced up at her. "I guess she was trying to convince me that we're staying here for a while, or something," she tugged lightly on Bella's leash. "I'll believe that when it happens, though."

Beth studied the other girl's face as she looked at the dog. Something in Kate's eyes told her that she actually cared more for the dog than she was letting on. Almost as if on cue, the dog moved quickly towards Kate, jumping up on her legs. Kate laughed after a moment, and then scratched her head with her fingers. Something about that laugh, and the way the blonde girl's eyes narrowed with affection as she looked at the dog made Beth's heart ache. Whether she wanted to let on or not, Beth could instantly tell that Kate had fallen in love with the little brown puppy.

"She's adorable," Beth smiled down at the dog, "Don't let her get lost on the way home."

Beth's words were more of a playful tease than an actual demand, but Kate's eyes rose to Beth's, and she furrowed her eyebrows. The corners of her lips turned into a frown.

"She'll be fine," she assured the other girl, "Come on, Bella. Let's go home."

Bella circled around Kate before hurriedly moving over to Beth. She jumped on the brunette, and then sat herself right on top of Beth's foot. Beth laughed, but Kate didn't seem to be so amused by the whole situation. She tugged on the dog's leash, and although the little dog leaned into the force, she fought to stay close to Beth.

"Go on, Bella, go home," Beth urged her, moving her foot a little to encourage the dog to follow Kate. She smiled again, and then knelt back to the ground, uncovering the seeds she'd been in the midst of planting, and beginning to dig into the earth again. Bella stood close by, watching her carefully, and it took another moment before Kate finally moved closer to pick the little dog up. As Beth finished planting the sapling, she glanced back up, and then at her watch.

"Hey, Kate?" She wondered. Kate, who had already made it a few steps away, slowly turned back to look at Beth.

"Yeah?" She asked, the little dog tucked under her arm.

Beth stood and wiped her hands before moving towards Kate. Bella's tail immediately began to wag as Beth neared them.

"Are you hungry?" She wondered, keeping her eyes fixed on the other girl.

Kate studied her for a moment, and then arched an eyebrow. The action seemed so sudden and unnoticed that Beth couldn't help but smirk. She couldn't help but notice how _cute_ Kate looked, all breathless in the cold air. Her nose and cheeks were slightly pink, and in the cold, she could see the soft puffs of air that left her nose and mouth.

"Why?"

"Because there's a picnic that's going to start in about…" she glanced at her watch again, "Three minutes. It's for all the people who've been helping out in the park today. It's a vegetarian menu, but… most of the people in the Cascade Land Conservatory…" she paused, glancing up at Kate, "I mean, the group that's working in this park today, are like my parents' age." She was quiet for a moment, "It would be nice to have someone my own age there."

"It's like… forty degrees out here," Kate protested, her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Fifty, to be exact. Anyway, you're already out in it, aren't you? Taking your dog for a walk?" She blinked at Kate, "And I think you have enough clothes on to survive in, like, Australia, and I-"

"I think you mean Antarctica," Kate corrected her bitterly. Beth shrugged nonchalantly.

"I knew it was one of those countries. In case you haven't noticed, I have better things to do than spend all my time on school work."

"Oh, believe me, I've noticed," Kate returned, "I've seen your test grades in school."

Beth pursed her lips for a moment, and then curled her fingernails into her palms.

"The only way to learn about life is to experience it. And we can't experience life if there's no earth to experience it on." She grinned again, "Which is why we're planting trees, and why _you_ should come to the picnic."

Kate was quiet for a moment, and then bit her lip.

"I have to go…home…" she spoke after a moment.

"Right." Beth slipped her tools into a bag and then shoved it onto her shoulder. "Okay. You know, I'm really not surprised you don't have any friends, Kate." She sighed, and then glanced at her, "At first, I thought you were just cute and shy, and I felt bad for you, because you seemed like you were nice enough, but you know what?" Beth glared at her for a moment, "You're not shy, you're just a snob. Have fun making it through the year being such an anti-social bitch."

Beth turned away from her, and began over the hill toward where the picnic was set to take place. Anger boiled inside of her, but she couldn't keep her mind off Kate. She was finished with her. No more casual conversation, no more friendliness. Obviously, Kate didn't want to make friends. She probably liked picking up and leaving one place a few months after they arrived; it probably kept her from being forced to socialize with others. Well, she could remain anti-social, for all Beth cared. It wasn't up to her to watch over Kate, and she certainly had no obligation to try to befriend her.

As she made her way over the hill and spotted the various picnic tables and blankets that the group had set out on a grassy knoll near the pond, she grinned and waved to the people who greeted her. Taking a plate, she helped herself to some fresh fruit, vegetables, and pasta before taking a seat on a blanket under a tree. She ate quietly for a moment, speaking to others as they passed her to get their food, and a few people took seats near her to eat.

Beth had nearly forgotten about her. Her mind had already moved to other things, but then, almost as if on cue, Kate reappeared over the hill, squinting against the sun. Beth blinked up at her, but then averted her gaze as Kate made her way over to her. Bella rushed in front of her, wagging her long tail, and she reached Beth before Kate did. As the dog struggled to scramble onto Beth's blanket, Beth looked up to see Kate restraining her.

She watched her quietly, not bothering to speak, but undoubtedly intrigued by the other girl's unexpected presence.

"I guess it's not that cold out," Kate spoke after a moment, shrugging softly. It was all the explanation she was willing to offer. Beth glanced up at her, before pulling her plate closer to her, and tucking her legs beneath her, signaling to the other girl to take a seat. Quickly, the brunette forgot about the vow she'd made just moments ago. Kate certainly had a way with her. If she had suddenly decided to try, then Beth would try as well.

Bella bounded onto the blanket, and Kate silently sat down. Beth couldn't help but laugh as the dog licked her face and tried its best to fully seat itself in her lap. She stroked its head as she glanced at Kate.

"There's still food over there, if you're hungry. It's really good."

Kate glanced over the food table, before looking back to Beth and Bella.

"I'll watch her," Beth offered, scratching the dog's head. She watched as Kate climbed up and made her way over to the table, returning a moment later with a plate of food. She eyed the other girl's plate as she sat, and Bella laid down at their feet.

"That's all you got?" Beth asked, a little incredulously, at the sight of a few apple slices, carrots, and celery sticks. They have tofu burgers and soy hot dogs up there, didn't you see them?"

Kate glanced down at her plate, and then back up at the brunette.

"Oh, um, I'm not really that hungry." Her voice was quiet as she looked at the other girl apprehensively. Beth watched her for a moment, then narrowed her eyes somewhat teasingly.

"You don't have to lie, Kate…"

"No, I'm not!" The blonde stammered quickly, shaking her head in defense, "I just ate, like, a sandwich before I left home."

Beth gave the other girl a crooked grin before shaking her head.

"No. I can tell you're lying." She raised her eyebrows at the other girl, "You think they look pretty gross, huh?"

Kate watched the other girl for a moment, before laughing very quietly.

"Maybe just a little bit... No offense, or anything, though."

"None taken," Beth shook her head, lowering her voice as she spoke, "To tell you the truth, those things are pretty damn nasty."

Kate laughed again before biting into a carrot, and then shaking her head.

"No, but I thought you wanted to order a tofu burger at my restaurant the other night?"

Beth bit on her lip before shrugging slightly.

"Yeah, I mostly did that to be a bitch," she replied, grinning. Kate laughed again, and then the air between them became quiet. Beth wasn't sure what was different now, but Kate certainly didn't seem like the same girl. They had gone an entire two minutes without fighting, and she'd heard (and made) the other girl laugh. She still wasn't quite sure why Kate was here; she'd returned with no real explanation, and didn't seem upset about what Beth had said to her before she'd left.

But Beth was thankful for the company, and didn't feel the need to question her motives.

They sat in a strangely comfortable silence for a few minutes, and then Beth glanced over at her. Kate offered her a small smile before tucking her legs under her on the blanket.

"So how do you like it here so far?" She wondered, catching the other girl's eyes just for a moment before glancing away.

Kate glanced around, and nodded slightly.

"It's nice," she replied quietly, "but every place we move is nice at first."

Beth nodded, wanting to take the conversation slow. It wasn't that she suddenly forgave Kate for all the bitchy things she'd said to her up to this point, but she liked this feeling of peace that had fallen between them. Beth was all about peace. She craved more of it in her life.

"So… you move around a lot?" Beth focused on a tree across the park.

"Yeah," Kate sighed softly, "You could definitely say that."

"Where's your favorite place that you've ever lived?" Beth asked after a moment, turning her head to look at Kate. The blonde girl look confused for a moment, as if she'd never been asked the question. As if she'd never even really thought about it.

"Um," she thought about it for a moment before replying, "I actually really liked Colorado. We lived there for about a year when I was in junior high. It was kinda like the perfect mix of city and country, you know?" She glanced up at Beth, "They had the prettiest lakes out there, and I would go swimming _all_ the time."

Beth smiled as she spoke. For the first time since she'd met Kate, she saw a happiness in her eyes that she had previously not noticed. Or maybe it had simply never been there.

"That sounds amazing," Beth nodded, and meant it. To her, nature was the most beautiful thing in the world. Imagining a world full of crystal clear lakes and trees that brushed the clouds made Beth's heart ache with happiness. It sounded perfect. "So, do you think you'll move back there when you graduate?"

Kate immediately shook her head.

"No. I'm tired of moving. I'll probably stay around here, or maybe live in a dorm at some college. Either way, once I get there, I'm staying there."

"Where do you want to go to college?"

Kate glanced over at Beth, and narrowed her eyes slightly.

"What is this, some kind of interview?" She laughed softly.

Beth pressed her lips together, then smirked.

"No, Kate, this is just what people do. They talk about different things they like, don't like, stuff like that." It was on the tip of her tongue to ask the other girl if she'd never had a friendly conversation, but she had a feeling she already knew the answer to that question.

"Oh," Kate grinned gently after a moment, and then crossed her legs on the blanket. "So, then, what about you? Have you always lived here?"

"Born and raised," Beth nodded. "I think it would be fun to live somewhere else. It would be like a new adventure."

"Well, you can have some of my adventures," Kate smiled softly. Then there was more silence between them.

Beth watched her as they sat in the quiet, and admired the way the sunlight reflected off her blonde hair. She curled her hands into her lap, and caught the blonde's eyes as she turned to look at her.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" Kate asked curiously, her voice quiet. Beth smiled softly, then shook her head.

"Um, no. I have better things to do with my time than spend it with some guy." That was a delicate way of putting it. Beth had had her share of experience with boys, and only in the last year had she truly begun to come to terms with herself, and who she was. But, there was no point in explaining all that to Kate right now. Or possibly ever.

Kate nodded, "I wish someone would tell my mom that."

Beth tilted her head as she looked at the other girl.

"Oh yeah? Your mom's got men issues?"

Kate's gaze fixed on the blanket, and she absentmindedly stroked Bella's back.

"You could definitely say that."

"With your dad, or…?" Her voice faded, and she kept her eyes fixed on Kate's face, which had suddenly become crestfallen, and all too reminiscent of the sadness Beth had seen on her face for the past few weeks.

Kate shook her head, raising her eyes to Beth's.

"No," she replied quietly, as the wind ruffled their hair. "I never really knew my dad. Which is fine…" she shrugged, and Beth could tell that the idea of having a father was foreign to her. She knew all about absent male figures; her father had been gone for most of her life, as well. Her uncle had tried to fill the role of the protector in her life.

Yeah, some protector. The hair on her skin rose as she thought about that man, what he had done to her, and her stomach churned. She curled her fingers into her palm, suddenly feeling nauseous and panicked. She bit on the inside of her lip, commanding herself to sit still. Everything was fine. He wasn't here; he hadn't been around her in years. Hadn't touched her in years. But, God, she could still feel his grubby hands upon her skin, grasping her, holding her down. Her mind cried out, and she shifted uncomfortably on the blanket. Her mouth felt dry suddenly, and she bit on her lower lip hard enough to draw blood before pulling it into her mouth. She tried to bring herself back to the moment as she realized Kate was still talking.

"… but she's always been like that. She finds a guy, thinks he's going to be her white knight and sweep her off her feet, and he just ends up knocking her on her ass." Kate shook her head, and Beth nodded tightly as she watched the other girl.

"So she's still looking for Mr. Right, huh?" Beth wondered, reaching for her backpack. She tried to keep the conversation flowing as she searched for what she wanted. Her hand fell upon the thermos in her bag and she pulled it out, unscrewing the lid of the container as she watched Kate.

"Yeah… still looking," she rolled her eyes, "And apparently on a cross-country journey in search of him."

She quieted as she watched Beth pour the liquid into a tiny cup, and furrowed her eyebrows as the brunette's shaky hand lifted the cup to her lips. Beth took a sip, feeling the familiar racing in her heart as the liquid slid down her throat. She finished the tiny cup of the beverage, and then made eye contact with Kate again.

"Coffee fix?" Kate asked, seemingly amused by the other girl's sudden craving.

Beth smiled, her dimples pressing into her cheeks.

"No," she shook her head, "I don't drink coffee. I'm a vegan. It's actually herbal tea. Passion flower." Passion flower was, in all honesty, her anti-anxiety medication. She tried to avoid medication as often as possible, but Beth had been plagued with panic attacks and high anxiety for the past eight years. When she was thirteen, she'd discovered passion flower, an herb that naturally assisted with decreasing anxiety and panicky feelings. She'd been drinking it regularly ever since.

"Oh," Kate nodded, glancing at the thermos, "I assumed you were just a vegetarian. That's cool."

Beth grinned, then took another sip of her tea.

"Nope. Vegan all the way."

Kate smiled softly at her, and then pulled her legs beneath her.

"I like your bag," Kate told her somewhat randomly, and Beth glanced down at it, before looking back up at the blonde.

"Thanks," she smiled, relaxing a little as she felt the herb beginning to take its effect. "It's made of hemp. I got it at a store across town, they sell all natural stuff there," she shifted it a little to show it off to Kate. "Maybe we could go there sometime." She wasn't sure why the offer had slipped from her lips, but she glanced up at Kate as she spoke.

Kate glanced up at her, and then nodded.

"Yeah. Okay," she smiled gently at the other girl, "I think I'd like that."

A warm rush of sudden affection filled Beth's stomach, and she nodded again.

"Okay."

The quiet settled between them, and Bella stirred on the blanket before shaking her head, the tags on her collar jingling.

"I should probably be getting home," Kate observed, as she looked around them, "It's getting dark, and I walked here."

"Okay," Beth nodded. She watched as Kate stood, brushing her pants, and wrapped Bella's leash around one hand, using her other hand to hold her empty plate.

"I'm glad you came," Beth told her, leaning back and using one arm to support her.

Kate grinned, "Me too."

"Hey, Kate?" Beth called, as the other girl began to walk away. Kate turned to glance at her. "If I go to that store this weekend, maybe I'll call you…"

"Cool," Kate nodded, grinning. She began to walk away, before the other girl called out to her again.

"You know, it would probably help if I had your phone number." Beth was grinning when she glanced at her again.

"Oh, right," Kate's cheeks flushed a little. She told the other girl the number, which Beth promptly entered into her phone's contacts.

"Okay. I'll call you," Beth nodded. Kate grinned, and then Beth watched as she walked away.

The brunette rested back against the blanket after Kate was gone, and crossed her arms behind her head. She blinked up at the sky, watching the trees rustle in the wind. She blinked as the sun began to sink lower, leaving the sky an ashy gray color that mixed with the orange glow of the sunset. Her eyes closed and her mind began to float. Her body had grown significantly more relaxed as a result of the herbal tea, and she felt tranquil and at peace. It felt like she spent the majority of her life in this daze that separated her from the waking thoughts that slowly ate away at her. The tea made her sleepy, but more importantly, it made her calm. It made her able to deal with the memories that plagued her constantly.

One day things would be different, she was sure of that. But right now, she was relaxed, and the only thing in her head was Kate. Kate's pretty blonde hair, her pink cheeks, her bright blue eyes. They filled Beth's mind with a warm, sweet feeling, and she wished she could see her again.

She decided she would call her. Tomorrow, maybe even tonight. Things had changed between them quickly, and Beth wasn't sure what had inspired the difference, but she welcomed it. Kate needed a friend, and whether Beth realized it or not, what she now longed for above everything else was to be that person; that source of absolute comfort for the other girl. She could save her from her interminable life of loneliness.

And maybe, in the back of her mind, Beth hoped that Kate could do the same for her.


	6. Change Everything for Happy Ever After

**So... I said I'd update this story in August in my last post... I just didn't realize it would be August of this year :) Anyway, enjoy! **

* * *

Sleepy-eyed and sporting a massive case of bed head, Kate yawned as she began down the kitchen stairs. It was Saturday, which was both a curse and a blessing in the Spencer household. No school today, which inevitably meant that Kate would spend the afternoon studying, reading, or listening to music while holed up in her room. Nothing ever changed in that department.

As she began down the stairs, she tugged at the bottom of the long shirt she'd slept in. Goosebumps covered the flesh on her legs, and she momentarily contemplated going back to her room to pull on a pair of pants, but then decided against it. It was nothing her mother hadn't seen before, and the house was a toasty 70 degrees. She yawned as she took another step, and thought momentarily about the reason she was so tired this morning. It could have had something to do with the fact that she had been on the phone with Beth until 10:30 last night, but that was ridiculous. She'd had plenty of time to sleep after that. More likely, it was due to the fact that she'd stayed up until early this morning thinking about that conversation, and replaying it in her head. For some reason, she couldn't figure out why it had left such a deep impression on her.

It wasn't until she actually got into the kitchen that she realized her mother wasn't alone. Dressed in a short skirt and tight t-shirt, she was on her tip-toes, pressing her body against the body of another person; a taller, more muscular person. A man she had never seen before, she was sure. Kate's eyes connected with his before her mother even turned around.

At the flash of recognition in her lover's eyes, Laurie turned quickly, grinning and giggling.

"Kate, this is Jake. Jake, this is my daughter Kate. Isn't she pretty?"

Kate's lips parted in surprise as she suddenly reacted to the presence of the man standing in her kitchen. The first thought was that the man in question looked surprisingly familiar, and the next was that she was suddenly reminded that she was only wearing a t-shirt and panties.

"Jesus, Mom!" Kate cried accusingly, pulling her shirt down and bolting from the room. She raced up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her. Suddenly blinded by anger and embarrassment, she ripped off her t-shirt and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans. Annoyance flushed pink in her cheeks as she tugged on a bra and t-shirt and ran a brush through her hair. There was no time to put on make-up. She was getting the hell out of here. She wasn't sure where she was going, but that didn't seem to matter right now. All she cared about was escaping.

As she reached for deodorant and perfume, she heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. Ignoring it, she went about her business, grabbing for her purse. Maybe she would see if she could go into work today. Surely they could use some extra hands on a Saturday night. Anywhere to get the hell away from this place. This place was supposed to be her retreat from the world; instead, it served as a prison.

"Kate," the soft voice pleaded as the door opened. Kate's head turned quickly to look at the intruder with narrowed eyes. It was only Laurie, slinking against the doorframe with a look of apologetic guilt on her face. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Kate snapped, her voice harsh.

Laurie heaved a heavy sigh and reached for her daughter, but Kate shrugged away.

"Come on, Kate. He didn't see anything. You don't have to be mad."

Kate ignored her, her skin flushed as she slipped into her shoes.

"Mom, you don't even know why I'm mad. Don't stand there pleading with me to meet your newest flavor of the week. It's disgusting."

Hurt flashed across Laurie's face, but she quickly replaced it with another expression.

"I should have warned you," she nodded guiltily, "but you were sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you up last night, so I just figured you would-"

"Figured I'd what?" Kate demanded, her voice nearly cracking, "Wake up this morning and wander downstairs in my underwear? That's gross, Mom, and totally embarrassing and you _know_ it!"

"He didn't see anything," Laurie reassured her quietly, "And he's a nice guy. Isn't he cute? Please come down and meet him. I'll make sure he pretends that never happened."

Kate rolled her eyes, slinging her purse onto her shoulder.

"That's not even the main point. I'm so sick of coming downstairs to another stranger and having no idea what to expect. I thought you said you would try to change this. It's not right, Mom. It's not fair to me _or _you."

"I know," Laurie replied glumly, and for a moment, Kate thought she had gotten through to her. Her face looked tired, it looked as if she'd learned her lesson, and then: "But he's different, Kate. He's so sweet. God, I met him yesterday at the grocery store. He was bagging my groceries, can you believe that? And then he came home and helped me put them away." She grinned like a child on Christmas morning.

Kate shook her head at the elder Spencer, and met her eyes.

"Yeah, I can believe that, Mom. You know why?"

Laurie's questioning gaze met hers and she shook her head slightly.

"Because _Jake_ is in my English class at school. He's a senior in high school, Mom. Congratulations; you really got your younger man this time." Kate pushed by her mother in the doorway and raced down the stairs, past a blankly staring young man in the kitchen.

"Hey Kate," he called as she passed by, "Can I ask a question about that paper we were supposed to turn in on Monday?"

Kate scoffed disgustedly and ignored him, pushing out the front door and slamming it behind her. Her house was a freak show, she quickly decided as she drew her purse tighter and began down the street. She didn't want her car. Anything that reminded her of her mother right now, she had no use for. Anyway, a long walk might do the trick enough to calm her down and keep her from running into traffic.

Kate felt like crying, but knew there was no use. It had never helped anything before, and it only left her with a headache and a splotchy red face. She wasn't sure how her life had gotten to this point. Surely worse things had happened to young women before. She had heard of plenty of girls who had gotten abused, raped, beaten, and she felt sorry for them. She didn't think her life was horrible, but she hated it. She hated knowing that at any given time, her mother was treated like a piece of meat by the many different men in her life. She hated knowing that her room, her life was right there for any of those men -if you could call them that- to disrupt. She didn't know any of them and, whether her mother wanted to admit it or not, neither did Laurie. It was all a game of chance. Who will steal that? Who will hit her? Who might decide the idea of a mother-daughter threesome is too good to pass up? It made Kate feel sick and afraid, and she decided that she wouldn't have children if this was how she would make them feel.

Lost in her world of misfortune, she didn't notice the car that pulled up alongside her in the street, and the event very well may have gone unnoticed but for the clear voice that called out for her through the open window.

"Kate," it spoke, and it took the blonde a moment to realize where the voice had come from before she allowed her attention to focus on the driver. "Hey… whatcha doin?"

Kate blinked at Beth, and then sighed.

"My mom…" she spoke softly, "I can't go home. Not right now, anyway."

Beth watched her for only a moment before leaning over the passenger seat and pushing the door open for her.

"Come on. I'm going out. I'll take you with me." She smiled gently at her.

Kate hesitated for a moment, "I think I'm okay. I just need some fresh air."

Beth quietly turned the heat off in the car and the windows slid down.

"Fresh enough?" She asked, motioning the blonde forward with a quick wave. "Come on, you'll like this."

It was cold, and only then did she realize that she'd left the house in nothing but a t-shirt. Up until now, her anger and embarrassment had been keeping her warm. A chill swept through her body and she finally slid into the passenger seat, pulling the door shut.

Beth locked the doors and eased her foot onto the gas pedal. They were silent for a moment, until Kate spoke.

"Where are we going?"

"I have an appointment," Beth replied, "You can come. I think it will help you."

"What kind of appointment?" Her voice was hesitant. She didn't feel right about imposing on something important.

Beth was quiet for a moment, and then looked at Kate.

"I've been seeing a therapist once a week since I was about fifteen. I met her right after she finished grad school," she offered without pause, "A lot of… you know, family issues. Anyway, she's really great. Her name is Alex. You'll like her."

"Oh," Kate replied, a little too quickly. Her silence came shortly after, and Beth glanced at her.

"I'm not crazy, you know. You don't have to be clinically insane to like talking to someone."

"I didn't-I mean, I wouldn't. I don't think you are. I'm just- I mean, I don't want to intrude on that-"

"Chill, Kate," Beth laughed gently, "It's okay. I'm not going to start pouring my soul out to her right in front of you. I'll go in with her for a few minutes, and then bring you in. It'll be fine."

Kate sat with her hands folded in her lap the rest of the way. Beth attempted to start several light-hearted conversations, but Kate couldn't concentrate long enough to follow through with any of them.

"So, anything exciting happen after we got off the phone last night?" Beth wondered, glancing at her blonde passenger. The conversation last night had been nothing too serious, but Kate knew that she had seemed different then. She had been happier, maybe even silly.

"No," Kate lied. It was true, aside from the fact that Kate had spent the next four hours lying in bed and replaying the conversation in her head. How it had begun, how quickly their chatter about school had turned into something else; it had eventually begun to feel like a real conversation between friends. Kate had gotten off the phone last night feeling better about herself and their relationship. She had felt so much closer to the brunette, and now she felt as if she needed to put her guards up again.

"What happened this morning?" Beth asked in her smoky voice. "Did you and your mom get into a fight?"

Kate nodded slowly, her gaze on the passing buildings outside.

"You could say that."

It was a moment before Beth responded, and not until she turned a corner and slowed the car to a stop.

"We're here." She smiled gently at Kate and unlocked the doors. Unbuckling her seatbelt, Kate climbed out and took a moment to appraise the building. It was nice; a one-floor brick building with stone pillars on either side of the front door. _Bridge Over Troubled Water_ was printed on the glass door that led to the lobby, and Kate hesitated outside the door before Beth pushed it open, and smiled at Kate, encouraging her to follow.

Kate stood in the lobby while Beth greeted a receptionist as Charlotte and informed her that she had an appointment with Alex. A moment later, Beth took a seat on a small loveseat in the waiting room and Kate joined her. They sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for several minutes until the door opened and a pretty brunette popped her head out. She greeted Beth with a huge smile that showed off a set of dimples and then smiled at Kate as well. Beth stood and turned to Kate.

"I'll be right back for you, okay? Don't run away." She smiled. "And relax. You're okay."

Kate tried to relax as she watched Beth disappear. She tried to relax as she watched the clock tick away the minutes on the wall. She tried to relax as she flipped aimlessly through a magazine and wondered why the hell she had agreed to come here in the first place.

Just as she had begun to contemplate whether or not she was willing to make the walk home, the door to the office swung open once again, and Alex's head reappeared.

"Hi," she greeted Kate, who stood upon being sighted. Her hand reached out for Kate's, who shook it obediently, "I'm Alex. Kate?"

Kate nodded, and followed the woman through a hallway and past a set of doors. They turned an abrupt corner and found themselves in a small room. Beth was perched on one of the chairs next to a lamp that provided dim light. The chairs were oversized and stuffed with pillows that matched the décor on the walls. It was definitely cozy.

The walls were painted a soft taupe color, and Kate vaguely recalled an article she'd read about pink rooms being the most soothing color. She briefly wondered if that would help the patients who were seen in here and then quickly decided that pink probably wasn't what most people wanted to see when they were crying their hearts out. A box of tissues sat on the table next to the lamp beside Beth, and Kate noticed that Beth had taken one and was now twirling it in her fingers, no doubt reducing it to shreds.

Kate took a seat beside Beth and Alex shut the door, sitting across from them.

"Hi, Kate," the woman greeted her. She was no more than twenty-six years old, Kate would guess. Her long brown hair hung over her shoulders, and her face broke into an easy smile. Kate was somewhat taken aback by her attractiveness. Positive energy radiated from the older woman, and Kate immediately liked her.

"Hi," Kate responded, already warming to the therapist.

"Beth's told me a lot about you," she smiled again, "You're new to the area, right?"

"Fairly new, yes," Kate nodded, wondering exactly how much Beth had told her.

"Well, welcome," Alex replied, "I hope you like it here."

"So far, yeah," Kate returned her smile, and then glanced at Beth.

"So," Alex began without skipping a beat, "Beth tells me you've never been to therapy before."

Kate shook her head slightly.

"No, I- I mean, I don't really think I need to. I mean, I know it's not just for crazy people, but I don't-" she let her words fade, "I don't know what to say."

Alex smiled warmly again.

"Well, let me tell you a little about what we do here. You talk, we listen and sometimes offer advice. You don't need to be going through anything life-changing in order to benefit from therapy. It's a safe place; a place to escape from whatever is bothering you in your life. A place where all of your secrets are safe, and you can work on developing yourself into a healthy, happy adult." She paused for a moment, "Does that sound like something you would be interested in?"

Even if Kate had wanted to dispute the fact, she couldn't. It was perfect. Exactly what she needed, especially now.

"Actually, yeah…" Kate responded, "I mean… there are times I don't feel safe at home." The words slipped out without Kate realizing what she had been saying, and now she blushed furiously. "I mean, I don't- I'm not in danger or anything, but… you know."

Both Beth and Alex's faces took on a concerned look, though Beth looked as if she were ready to pounce into action. Alex looked thoughtful and sympathetic, and Kate liked that.

"Well, I can tell you that if you decide to see one of our therapists, they will be able to help you with that. I really think this is something you could benefit from, but it's up to you."

Kate reveled in those last four words: _it's up to you_. How often had she heard those words? Rarely, if never. Nothing had been up to her. Not moving, not housemates, nothing.

They spent the next quarter hour discussing school problems as a group, nothing too personal for either Beth or Kate. It was nice, Kate had to admit that, and before they left, Alex had given Kate a number to call when she decided whether or not counseling was for her.

By the time they were on their way home, Kate felt better. She had put her mother and Jake out of her mind. All that existed right now was _Kate_ and what she wanted.

"So was it torture?" Beth asked as they coasted down the street.

Kate turned, grinning at her.

"Barely. Alex is really nice, Beth. You're lucky."

Beth paused for a moment, glancing at Kate.

"Yeah, I guess so."

It was silent the rest of the way, and Beth finally pulled to a stop in front of Kate's house.

Kate paused, hesitated to get out of the car.

"You wanna come up? We can sit on the porch or something. I'm not really too eager to go inside just yet."

Beth smiled gently at her and nodded, putting the car in park before turning it off. She followed Kate up the porch stairs, and then onto a small seat for two just outside the front door.

"Thank you," Kate said after a moment, "for taking me with you. It was nice. I'm sorry that I- I mean, I'm sorry for being so awkward."

Beth watched her for a moment, soft dimples pressing into her cheeks as she studied the blonde.

"You're welcome. And don't apologize for your awkwardness. Honestly, I think it's really cute."

Kate flushed at her words, and then nodded. She leaned back against the seat, and Beth followed suit a moment later. It was silent between them for several minutes, and then Beth spoke.

"I really enjoyed talking to you last night on the phone, Kate. It was nice. I haven't had a- I mean, it's been a long time since I've felt like I could talk to someone." In that moment, her voice sounded like a lost child's; lonely, hopeful, and mostly sad. Kate looked to the other girl.

"You have Alex," she offered quietly. Beth nodded after a moment.

"I do, but it's not the same, I guess. I mean, she's there during business hours and I get to see her once a week and that's great, but… it's not the same as having a friend."

The word struck Kate hard. Friend. She hadn't had a real friend since middle school. And even then, they had stopped talking after a couple moves, so how _real_ was that friendship? Kate's breath caught in her throat as she looked at Beth.

"That's right, Spencer. I said _friend_." Her voice was teasing now, and Kate couldn't help but smile. Their eyes caught each other for a moment, and Beth grinned. "You're not as annoying as I originally thought. In fact, you're kinda sweet."

Kate teased back, "And you're not as much of a bitch as I originally thought. You actually have a heart. And a pretty good one at that."

Beth feigned horror. "Hey, don't let that get out." She chuckled lowly, "I actually kind of miss you when you're not around. Don't let it go to your head, though."

Kate watched her quietly, and nodded. "I miss you, too."

They were both aware of the sudden change in the atmosphere, and for a reason Kate couldn't quite comprehend, her stomach felt jumbled. She felt like she wanted and needed to say something, but couldn't quite make it out. It felt so nice, sitting like this with Beth. She couldn't remember the last time she had wanted so badly to spend time with anyone else, and a stirring emotion inside of her didn't want Beth to leave.

It had been silent for a few minutes and Kate felt she needed to say something. As she opened her mouth to speak, however, the front door opened and their attention was drawn to it. It was, of course, Jake followed by Laurie. Laurie was wearing a frown, and Kate assumed this meant that their tryst was over. Jake met Kate's eyes first, and then Beth's. Beth sucked in her breath and looked at Kate before the young man bounded down the stairs and to his car. Laurie disappeared back inside for a moment, and Beth spoke.

"Is that your mom's new boyfriend?" She asked, her voice tinted with disgust and horror. "Please tell me no."

"No," Kate responded after a moment, "I wouldn't say boyfriend so much as… overnight companion."

Beth's face remained frozen in an unaffected state of disgust as she watched him drive away.

"Kate, I dated him in ninth grade."

Kate stared in disbelief at the brunette for a moment. There were no words. She could think of nothing else to say. Finally, instead of speaking, she felt laughter building inside of her and released it. Beth watched her for a moment until she laughed as well, and then they were both hysterical. Tears formed in Kate's eyes and slipped down her cheeks, and Beth was gasping for air. It wasn't until Laurie reappeared on the porch that their laughter subsided, and even then it still broke out in small giggles.

"Hi!" Laurie introduced herself to Beth, "I'm Laurie, Kate's mom."

Kate forced a look of indifference onto her face, and glanced at Beth.

"Hey," Beth managed to smile at her, "I'm Beth. It's nice to meet you."

"You, too," Laurie smiled genuinely at Beth. "Listen, Beth, I'm afraid I have some apologizing to do to my daughter… do you mind?"

Beth smiled and shook her head. Her dark curls framed her face and Kate's breath was momentarily taken away by her friend's beauty. When Beth's eyes met Kate's, they were full of affection.

"Sure. I'll see you around, okay, Kate? I'll call you tonight."

Kate grinned, nodding.

"Okay, I'll be waiting."

Beth winked at her before disappearing down the steps and climbing into her car. There was a moment of silence between mother and daughter before Laurie spoke.

"I'm sorry…" she began, her voice low and guilty. Kate nodded and made noises of confirmation when it was appropriate, but her mind was still on Beth and that moment of silence between them on the porch. Somewhere in the middle of the one-sided conversation with her mother, reality struck Kate. The feelings she'd been experiencing with Beth- she suddenly realized what they were, and knew that they weren't feelings of ordinary friendship. Though she wasn't sure why or how it had happened, she realized it had been true from the moment she had met her, despite their personality differences. There was so much to think about, so much to figure out and consider. Right now, however, the only thing swirling in her mind was the one thought that she had been so oblivious to all along: Kate Spencer had a crush on Beth Davis.


End file.
